Down to the River
by littlelindentree
Summary: He loved that woman. But there was no getting around the fact that pregnant Mindy was gross. Gross and terrifying. Takes place during and after 3x13 "Tomorrow Blues."


This takes place during and after 3x13 "Tomorrow Blues." It was written for Cliche Bingo on LJ, for the "pregnancy" prompt. The title comes from the Bruce Springsteen song "The River."

***

Billy Riggins loved Mindy Collette. It was just about the only thing in his life he was sure of these days; maybe the only thing he'd ever been sure of. He didn't know what was going to happen with the garage or what was going to happen to Tim, but he was sure that he loved Mindy. He loved her soft brown eyes and how she'd look at him while she was working like _he_ was the one she was dancing for, and how she called him "monkey" when she was sweet and "dumbass" when she wasn't, and how she always wanted to cuddle up to him at night, even when it was 110 degrees out.

He loved that woman. But there was no getting around the fact that pregnant Mindy was gross. Gross and terrifying.

First there was the puking. A few weeks before the wedding, Mindy started getting up real early in the morning and barfing her guts out in the bathroom. Mindy figured it was nothing more than food poisoning from Seven Senoritas. Billy offered to go down there and sort them out, but Mindy just rolled her eyes.

Then Billy came home from working on the garage one day to find Mindy and her mother sitting on his couch, mascara streaked all over Mindy's face and her mother holding her hands. Turns out the puking wasn't because of bad tacos, but because of the bun Mindy had in her oven.

Billy took this in stride and waited until Mindy left to start freaking out.

It took him a while, but after he told Tim about it, Billy started to feel less scared and more excited about impending fatherhood. He thought about a little Billy or Mindy being born one day soon, and he didn't worry about putting food on the table or keeping a roof over their heads. He thought that this baby was a chance to start over, to prove everyone wrong and put right the mistakes his own parents had made. After all, he loved Mindy and genuinely wanted to do right by her, and that already put them a step ahead of his parents.

So Billy began to feel happy and confident about the future, which was great, but it didn't change the fact that getting there was a disgusting process.

After the puking part was over, Mindy began sleeping less and eating more, her energy and her appetite equally boundless. She and Tyra repainted the master bedroom the week before Tyra left for Austin, and suddenly Billy found himself sleeping in a butter yellow bedroom next to a woman who had started eating Corn Nuts and salsa out of a cereal bowl for breakfast every morning. Mindy had wanted to turn Tim's bedroom into the nursery since he was leaving for San Antonio around the same time, but Billy had put his foot down and insisted that the room was Tim's until he moved out for real.

Mindy began to pack on the pounds, and her ankles swelled, and she claimed to no longer be able to control the gas she always seemed to have. She tossed and turned all night, complaining about how sore she was. Sometimes she would stare at her expanding belly and point her stretch marks out to Billy, moaning that she was never going to be able to show her face, never mind her ass, at The Landing Strip again.

Billy started spending more and more time at the garage under the pretence that they needed the money, but really it was because he was scared to be around Mindy while she expanded and changed and became this whole other person while he looked on in horror, wondering what had happened to the hot girl he had married, who paid attention to _him_ and not to books and videos about dilated lady parts and yoga breathing.

Then one day, the whole process was suddenly over. Billy had thought that nine months seemed like a long time, but it actually wasn't at all, and one cool January morning, Angela called Billy at the garage and told him through ecstatic tears to get down to the hospital, because Mindy was having the baby.

Billy jumped into his car and ran four red lights to get there, leaving a frantic message on Tim's voicemail as he weaved through traffic and ignored the angry honking around him.

When he got there, Mindy was well into her labour, and if Billy thought that pregnancy was gross and terrifying, it was nothing compared to Mindy giving birth.

There was screaming and crying and threats of violence, and there was blood and other... stuff. Billy wasn't sure; he hadn't done more than glance at any of the books Mindy had given him, and he tried not to look too closely now, settling for holding her hand and keeping himself well out of sight of the mess between Mindy's legs.

Several hours later they had a tiny, purple, angry-looking, blood and god-knows-what smeared baby girl, who Mindy insisted on naming Tanya, after Tanya Tucker.

Billy watched, strangely detached, as Angela and Tyra, who had arrived from Austin just in time, stood around and cooed and fussed over the new little person. This went on for some time until finally, Mindy succumbed to exhaustion and fell fast asleep with little Tanya swaddled up next to her in the bed.

Angela and Tyra went home, and the sun went down, and Billy stared at the shadows moving across the far wall of the hospital room, trying to ignore the feelings of disappointment and guilt he felt over being the only one who wasn't excited about the funny-looking little kid asleep next to him.

At the sound of the door opening, Billy looked up. Tim poked his head into the room, the light from the corridor creating a silhouette out of his messy hair.

"Billy?" he whispered, peering into the dim room. "Y'all asleep?"

"No," Billy replied, reaching over and flicking on the bedside lamp. He blinked blearily at the light, looking up at his brother. Tim's face was flushed, his eyes bright with excitement.

"Sorry, bro. I got here as fast as I could," he said, coming close to the bed. "How are they?"

"Good, I think," Billy shrugged, glancing warily at his wife and his new daughter.

"Nurse told me it's a girl," Tim grinned. "What're you gonna call her?"

"Mindy named her Tanya," Billy replied.

"That's a great name," Tim said. "Tanya Riggins. Can I hold her?"

Billy shrugged again, standing up and aside. Tim gently picked up his little niece, carefully extracting her from Mindy's arms so as not to wake either of them.

"Wow," Tim breathed, holding her close to his chest. "Check her out. She's _beautiful_."

Billy looked down at the baby, at her funny, misshapen little head, and her red, powdery skin. She squirmed in Tim's arms, waking up slowly and frowning at them both.

"Hey, look – she's up," Tim whispered. "Hey, Tanya. I'm your Uncle Timmy. I'm easy to pick out – I'm the good lookin' one."

Billy looked up at Tim's face, at the rapt, joyful expression on his face as he gently stroked the baby's chubby cheek with one finger. Tanya began to fuss, murmuring quietly and frowning. A moment later, she began to cry in earnest, producing an amazing amount of noise for someone so tiny.

"Here, Daddy," Tim said, holding her out to Billy. "She's all yours."

Billy took her in his arms, trying to swallow the panic that threatened to overwhelm him. What was he supposed to do? His baby was crying and he was her dad and that meant it was his job to _do something_. He stared down at her in abject terror, scared she would wake Mindy up, and Mindy would realise that he was a cowardly dumbass who was completely unfit in every way to be a father, and that she would leave him and go live with her mother, and he'd never see either of them again.

The very thought of that made him sick and sad inside in a way he'd never felt before.

He held Tanya close to his chest, patting her gingerly. She sniffled and frowned, but slowly she quieted, squinting up at Billy as he rocked her, as though she was just as unsure of him as he was of her.

Billy looked down at Tanya, and knew he'd never seen, nor was he likely to ever see again, anything as beautiful as his brand new daughter.


End file.
